THINGS I’M EXCITED ABOUT:
- eating food. I want to eat crabs in Maryland, lobster rolls in New England, BBQ all over the South, and TexMex all over the southwest. Food is all I care about.
- meeting other weirdoes. I just have a feeling that there’s a ton of people out there who are maybe really average people who happen to be creative in an odd way and I want this cross country trip to be my way to meet all of them.
THINGS I’M NOT EXCITED ABOUT:
- living in squalor. I predict by day three, the RV is beyond gross.
- farting while I sleep. Actually, that’s not fair. I have no problem farting while I sleep. Just don’t want to do it in front of eleven other people. Sometimes when I sleep publicly, I magically will myself to not fart despite the fact that I’m sleeping, and soon get crippling stomach pain.
- being in an enclosed space with Will Hines for an extended amount of time.
- fiascos. Technical disasters. Unforeseen logistical issues. Shows that fall through. RV breakdowns. People getting hurt on the road. Someone dying. Someone getting stranded in a weird place. What are the odds that NONE of these things happen?
- Shannon being mad at me. It’s almost definite that in 12 days together I will do something that will get Shannon mad at me. If you’ve never had Shannon mad at you, I envy you. It’s not fun.
- not showering. I have a mental thing where I can’t even leave my house if I haven’t showered. If I am only going to the gym, I still shower first. Our RV has a shower, but it will be winterized, so we can’t use it. That’s such a cocktease.