For anyone who doesn’t regularly watch our show, you may not know the following: There’s a guy named Vacation Jason who often appears on TCGS and I usually react to him with scorn. I find him pretty annoying and don’t understand why he has such cultish adoration.
That being said, he’s in trouble and he needs our help.
Word got to me that very late on Saturday night, Jason was lounging under a palm tree in an undisclosed tropical location when a coconut fell on his head. EMS workers found him unconscious and in a pile of spilled pineapple juice. He was in a coma.
Since awaking from the coma, he has only referred to himself as “Jason Reinlib”. He’s no longer into tropical shit. He no longer yearns to always be on vacation. Guys, he’s wearing shoes.
Now look, Vacation Jason is a thorn in my side – he even once teamed up with a guy called The Hintmaster and took over my show, locking me in a dog cage. But he’s like an annoying little brother and for as much as I roll my eyes at him, he’s a part of the TCGS family and he needs our help. On top of all of that, I’m of the mindset that if someone needs help, you do your best to help them. You don’t sit idly by. You step up to the plate.
With that in mind, THIS WEDNESDAY NIGHT WE ARE THROWING A BEACH PARTY IN OUR STUDIO TO TRY TO SNAP VACATION JASON OUT OF IT. I can’t spend another moment watching this guy tuck in a long sleeved button down into his sensible slacks. Even for all of our butting of heads, I can’t watch the dude suffer like that.
This Wednesday night, we’re going to emulate being on a beach in our studio – people are encouraged to tan, we’ll have tiki torches, we may try to figure out a way to have people surfing in the studio. Our goal is that by exposing him to as much of a tropical environment as possible, we can snap our old pal out of it and he can go back to being the fun loving and personally frustrating to me icon we all know and love and also I hate.
Luckily we have the perfect band to help us in our quest – THE APE HANGERS are a surf rock outfit the likes of which I haven’t heard in many years. They bring those surf guitars and danceable rhythms right to the forefront and I was blown away when I saw their videos. If any band is going to help remind Vacation Jason of everything that’s fun about the beach, THE APE HANGERS are the gang to do it.
Call us at 212-996-1413 on Wednesday night after 11 pm eastern time to remind Vacation Jason of your favorite vacation memories, your favorite things about the beach, your favorite tropical fruits, whatever you think we’ll work. WE NEED YOUR HELP.
If you want to attend this week’s show, email zerolaughs@g[email protected] for tickets – BUT BE FOREWARNED – IF YOU ARE NOT WEARING A BATHING SUIT OR TROPICAL SHIT, YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED IN THE STUDIO. BRING BEACH TOWELS, BRING FRISBEES, BRING MOLDS TO CONSTRUCT SAND CASTLES. THIS IS NOT A JOKE. IF YOU SHOW UP IN JEANS OR WHATEVER, YOU WILL BE ASKED TO LEAVE. ALL PRIORITY FOR ROOM IN THE STUDIO WILL BE GIVEN TO PEOPLE IN BOARD SHORTS, BIKINIS, AND TROPICAL SHIRTS.
Gonna be a fun one, and hopefully we can help our friend. Thanks guys -