Hey San Francisco-ans, as well as those who enjoy traveling to festivals! TCGS is sending a contingent out to the three day fest known as Outside Lands where we are going to put ourselves on the line in properly idiotic and interactive fashion. We hope you’ll join us on the Saturday of the fest as we take to the Barbary tent to present to you the MONEY FREE AUCTIONS OF HUMAN SHAME.
What are you willing to give us to win prizes that range from the dumb to the service oriented to the personal? Because we don’t want money. As anyone knows, TCGS is borderline allergic to money. No one seems to want to give it to us, and when we get it we seem to spend it on things like wiffle ball bats and ingredients to make belly burritos. So we want to traffic in other currencies… more personal currencies, more risky currencies.
We invite YOU to come big on these VERY IMPORTANT AUCTIONS, but be ready to put yourself out there and get up on stage in the process. Head auctioneer Duke Ponzetti will be leading the charge as we auction off hot ticket items such as:
- How many tender little kisses are you willing to give the Human Fish in exchange for him to give you an on stage full body massage?
- What is the darkest secret you’re willing to reveal in exchange for having the LLC write a song about you on the spot?
- What Billy Joel song are you willing to sing in its entirety in exchange for a chance to booty dance with the one and only Bethany Hall?
- What’s the worst story about shitting your pants you’re willing to publicly admit to in exchange for Vacation Jason making you a tropical smoothie like only he can?
These are just the TIP OF THE GOD DAMN ICEBERG. We are going to bring the ruckus, auction off our own dignity, while asking you to put yours on the line in the process. The cast and the audience will all come together and reveal things, do things, experience things that ultimately give away all of our dignity together and lead to a massive amount of HUMAN SHAME.
You know, the MONEY FREE AUCTIONS OF HUMAN SHAME.
Just keep in mind… if you claim you can do something and then can’t pull it off on stage…. DUKE PONZETTI WILL SHOOT YOU WITH A CUM GUN. I will explain this no further.
Be there, show up, have fun, let’s get down together. All comedy aside, San Francisco has been one of the kindest towns to us and every time we’ve toured there we walk around and feel great and meet tons of people that are really solid cool people – this town has had our back and we can’t wait to get out there to fuck around and have some more fun with all you fest-goers and San Fran natives!